9-5

I'm just going to come out and say it...work stinks. Work stinks even more when you have 2 awesome little dudes at home playing together, laughing, learning, and loving. I am a full time mom who also happens to work full time. Stinks...
I work so we can pay our bills, feed our family, and provide a future for those 2 little dudes. My job isn't horrible, the people I work with are nice, and I can't complain about my commute(a 3 mile commute is pretty great). I can't be sad that we are fortunate enough to send our children to my parents during day. Who better than us to raise our kids than the same loving, nurturing people who raised me? Not sure but I think I turned out pretty sweet!
I sit here at my desk at work feeling guilty for not being with my kids right now. For all I know Cole could have taken his first steps. I never had this kind of guilt with Braeden. I know I always wanted to be home with him, but I knew that getting our life together was our main goal. Eye on the prize. Well here we are 4 years later with another family member living in a beautiful new home. Our debt has depleted and we are in a really great place. Brian and I have talked about me becoming a stay at home mom. He know's it is what I want, it's what I need. It's what this non aspiring, no career direction, college drop out has always known. I just want to be a mama and take care of my family. In reality, it's what I do best. Though changing dirty diapers and making dinners doesn't pay the bills.
I think it will happen, I think it will be soon. Brian works so hard everyday and everything he does is for our family. I know he is really great at what he does and the people at his company love him and have such praise for him. I know there are great things lined up for him. I know that he would be willing to work 2 jobs so that I wouldn't have to at all. I would never want that  since we would never get to see each other.
Being a working mom is rough. I just want to be at home with them, take day trips to the park, go to the library, make my kids lunch, and enjoy every second of the time we have together while they are so young. It goes so fast and I will never get this time back...ever. Until the time comes when this dream becomes a reality we make the most of the time we have with each other. We watch these boys play, learn, laugh, and love even if it's only on the weekends.